Love (Elixir Vitae)

ImageI’ve studied awhile now. By studying I mean all kinds of various wisdom traditions … chi gung, yoga, taoism, meditation, ceremonial magick, sorcery, alchemy, integral theory, enochian, kung fu, etc. I am a devoted career Magician. But if I’m honest with myself (and I’m very good at honesty), the thing that has propelled me along The Way since I was old enough to think for myself, is Love, and especially Falling in Love. A Falling when correctly understood is cognate with the territory of Time, as a precious and particular Cascade of Events related to the Brightness and Shining of pure Fire, Divinity. It is the non-dual Way of the Trickster/Fool.

My first teacher told me once that I had a mission when I described to her the inescapable path of my life. I loved her very deeply, and it was the first time that I witnessed how passionate heart love could be chanelled into the growth of spiritual projects, healing others, growing your soul, and remembering. She used to tell me “you are the future”. The translation of her name as an adept referred to an eastern concept of Mind. A higher and transcendent concept to be sure, but this concept of Mind had attributes that were of fire and flame, and passion; and was explicity placed in the center of the 4th chakra, the heart.

Sapiosexuality is a word that has recently come into a sort of vogue, and is generally equated with being turned on by cognitive intelligence. However the latin root ‘sapio’ when related closely with ‘sophia’ refers to Wisdom; and the wise know that The Hermit carries the lamp, as the tip of the yod; fire of fire, the spirit and passion of the heart, where the true Divine Spark resides. The Soul. And this is how it is for me.

The growth of my soul is its foolish journey, Falling in Love; empty headed and always assuring the joke is clearly on me. I have heard it said many times that to fall in True Love is something we should be lucky to experience even once in a lifetime. I have also heard it said many times that falling in love, infatuation and Limerence, is somehow a lesser spiritual proccess. I can only conclude from my own experience that folk who declare that falling in love is somehow antithetical or counter to the spiritual mission betray only their soul’s longing for the experience.

To be clear, I have never understood how the psychedelic experience of Falling in Love is not renewed and reborn between lovers who truly possess it. I feel deep empathy for lovers that fail the trials and somehow cannot make it beyond their blockages into the rebirth … and I feel yet more deeply for the majority of the human souls on the planet that have given up on True Love. Then again, the humor in the situation is that the karma cannot otherwise be undone, and this is a precise and technical aspect of Love under Will. I find great comfort in the knowledge that another lifetime is another chance; karma itself when understood is little more than a map of the inevitable.

You cannot just love everything with the kind of True Love here discussed, the true root of the sapiosexual, and the true expression of The Law of Love. There is a weak assumption in many spiritual circles that passionate, wild, entheogenic Love is somehow not ‘real love’. They will lecture you (as if such a ridiculous construct as words could account for True Love) on Unconditional Love, a Love that is unbound by attachment, freely given, totally open, and without boundaries. Unconditional Love is surely a Divine Power and is the birthright of all forms in the universe. Unconditional Love is given unconditionally whether it is acknowledged or not. It is in everything as a backdrop to arising existence. The very suggestion that something unconditional and unbounded can somehow be ‘expressed’ or ‘not-expressed’ is a performative contradiction. It betrays a duality that hides inside it the deep longing in the heart for the mighty draught of the sapiosexual elixir. All forms; all beings, are given Unconditional Love as a pre-requesite to their veritable manifestation. All Souls desire True Love, and True Love only exists under True Will, and is not given, nor is it won, freely.

Nothing hurts quite like living with such a reckless heart. I have been through my own psychology thoroughly, and remain completely aware of how my history on the planet has carved out my habit of such heart seeking. I am also fully in on the joke of my soul, which chose all of this from the beginning. No matter how many mystical, physical, transcendent, or any other kind of realizations that spiritual discipline has garened me …. I really don’t care about any of it in the face of True Love, and Falling in Love. Magick is really just the way I occupy myself in the off time of foolish heart adventuring.

Life is contantly surprising, and I adore surprises. It took me longer than it probably should have to realize that souls who follow this Way like me are extremely rare. It has been a process to accept the way I affect other human personalities around me. I tend more towards a solitary path for this reason, and generally avoid any sort of ‘ready-made’ systems of spiritual growth. I am allowed to be different, and Liberty is a precious thing. The Bodhisattva swears an oath to put off her ultimate realization until all Souls in our Universe can be liberated. You see them out in the world, being Saints, creating sustainability and being gardeners and shepherds for Terra and her Human Tribe.  Mine is the Way of the Arhat.  The Bodhisattva expresses perfection by becoming a force working for good within Nature.  The Arhat expresses perfection by simply being a Force of Nature. In the non-dual reality there is of course no difference between these approaches, neti-neti, Purusha-Prakriti, Nuit-Hadit, Ishtar-Shakti, etc.  It is the arc of polarity between perfections which is the alchemical substance of value.

ImageThe more I grow my energy, the more my soul power comes through my physical body; the stranger things seem to get. But the mythic image of myself that comes to mind is of some wild man in a mud wrestle. I get dirty, I get rowdy, in the mosh pit of True Mind, of Soul, of True Heart. Really the only thing I do is follow my heart, wherever it leads me. Parts of me are scared shitless, anxious, and self-conscious much of the time; but I’ve learned to always move towards whatever is causing those feelings.

So, after close to 15 years of practice in Magick; I’ve made a lot of great Art and cultivated Power and Knowledge; Arcane Wisdoms and Trans-Dimensional Experiences; Congressed with Angels and Embodied Demons; Unlocked All the Gates of Understanding and have become proficient in straight up Sorcery as a side-effect … and whatever else it is that we as Magicians find ourselves doing. But what really grows my Soul; what truly awes me and bears me witness the great Mystery of the Universe, is True Love. And when it happens, when I Fall in Love again, and again, and again … I laugh out loud at the absurdity of the Divine, of my Soul, of the Great and impenetrable Mystery; and all the Arcane Arts in all the worlds reveal themselves as grown up toys for rowdy girls and boys.

When it is said that Love is the Law, Love Under Will, that is what True Love is; and that ecstasy of existence, the spark that brings life and the vivifying essence of Alchemy; which begins the transmutation of first matter to Gold and reveals the immortality of experience, and the continuity of the omnipresence; is summed up fittingly when it is said that Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. In these secrets are the formulae of the Elixir Vitae. One draught of which is said to spontaneously complete the transmutation, or compress its evolutionary leap into the space of months. The Quest for the Grail as a suitable vessel for the Elixir Vitae is the occupation of many an ongoing operation in the Real World of Magick. Its formula is True Love.

Innocent Souls, Love one Another with Burning Hearts!

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~~~ Dreambelt Tantra & Each Eternal Cross-Eyed Triangulation ~~~

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love has this way, a tantric re-act
of undoing my spine, directly behind
the center of light in my chest

when the obsession borders on comical
when I’m undone, or a boy, just a toy
wind me up and watch me run

all the mars I am in the world, intensely
is all the venus I feel, just as real
as all the fractal tears, quartz of my heart

this is how I’m different, special
royal blood, innocent soul, devoted in whole
to offer a life of loving you to God

fucked open without any real physical touch
the consciousness, wise, soul truth beyond lies
my naked body an antenae of shared radical dreams

purity, innocence, beyond and before jaded
my soul wants to grow, wants for you to know
how always, forever, eternity, promises; are real

the magician makes it so, in act, word, deed
the warrior the right, for divine law to fight
and the fool will go where the heart wants to go

galactic crosses swing the door wide
and now is a chance to step through, for you
I will lay a Garden of Fire at your feet

the myth, the groove, in the heart, the heart
the wise must have courage to feel that its real
and power to act in the world of form

so thats right, I cry and I die everyday
that makes me special, and its so beneficial
to the tantra of a wide open heart of big love

for me, no separation exists; this world – that world
some say they burn, the second string wont learn
they are the children, running away from what is

and you, just like them, must know
y’all just gettin high and avoiding the work
choosing a world where revolution wont come

me? I just want to build a tower
in the city of empire and towers
and build you the church of your dreams

not one to burn when its all been done
but last as a testament, to a world that we won
by giving it and oursleves to eachother, the divine

each moment is forever

 

Sirius & the Celestial Wolf Familiars

(Scribed in the Hall of Spheres, Damanhur, Piedmonte during the Winter Solstice and Halcyon Days of 2012)

Build a few days away. Stop there, rest, recover, renew. So many forces at play have brought you here. You are unique. And now we converge for all involved of course, but yes, you are unique. Walk into the center, this Holy battle ground. Demonstrate by example … show your grade. Firmly, positively, plainly. Always with the respect you normally show. Keep your grace close at hand, and in this, we, us, all of us shall make you mighty. Chosen for something, effortless although so much can and will occur. You will know precious little of it; but all of it. Your achievements are and will be known. The grasp of light profound. The cycles of death, rebirth, encouragement, and even slight despairs which like you now scribble to be maintained. We are so very happy, and this participation is the happiness fruit of so many years of suffering. You didn’t know why but you did it, acted, endured, and didn’t give up. I cannot say if you will know reward as such, but you must know that you did it, and you did it well.

You kept going and so you shall continue to go. TO GO. TO WAR. TO behead the snake of the many faceted enemy … Divine Rights be yours. Divine pleasures lay before you. What you write now is of you and of us. You will know it down the years, more simply and with more complexity. The conundrum will astound and delight you. We will remain, as shall you. You know where to find us as you know where and how to find you. Truth is in the telling, and now we are all friends. Your connection to us all is strong and will be shortly recognized before you yourself can see it. What odd reality to spin yes … but yours and of course ours. See a Galactic Network before you, and know that it is real, it is charged, it is filled, and a chapter is written anew …

This is your body brought forth from the flame. A construction in time worthy of your task. As a favor to you and your race, a potent antennae of force and power upon the earth. Forged in flame, thus shall flame guide you in its operations. Technically, everything is already known to you, but there is dissonance between your original nature, the earth, and our construction. Look to the flame to re-harmonize and realize the full potential of that which we have made for you. While in this body, we too are your family. Call to us with passion, flame, fury, and all things explosive, molten, and aggressive. With this we will cure any ills or malfunctions, and reset the bio-machinations to once again operate correctly as intended.

The exact effects of your earthly experience could not be completely calculated before you entered, and so engaging the fire will call us forth as technicians in a forge in the bowels of the earth. We will fix you, and your harmony will return. Trust in the flame from which your earth body was forged. The bodymind shall burn and delight in the scorching, and the realization of the original perfection you always are shall proceed on the earth in due course. We are with you, and made this body for you from our desire to serve you; for even though it cannot contain the fullness of your memory, you delighted in the play of forgetfulness, and found what we considered to be a limitation to be your delight and perfection. We remain happy to serve our star brother.

The Taxiarch Archangel Michael

“If you see a Class V demon on the street, what are you going to do?”

It hit me right at that moment. The beautiful and nimble grandmother of Cherokee blood had just called me out in perfectly magickal terms. This Being who for the past day had erased my ability to think with my feminine brain with every action she took, every word she spoke, and every gesture of subtle energy which I in my ignorance could hardly even detect. I understood why she was a he and her name was Michael. An Archangel had come to teach us, to be with us, to talk with us and share with us.

“Are you a slayer?” Michael looked at me knowing the answer before he even asked. Pouncing on a golden lynx, nimble and supple as a cat in his own right, which seemed completely ridiculous in the robust and Aged to Wisdom Body Michael had chosen, just another stroke of Divine Humor which couldn’t help itself, a mere side effect of being an archangel acting in 3d.

You couldn’t talk to Michael using your cognition. No, it was required that you use pure dreaming. Magnified by the Cherokee traditions coursing through the blood of the host, we were on a shamanic journey and falling into each others trance. Michael befriended me because I loved him openly and joyfully. And what treasures he provided for me, unlooked for by me, and still as yet largely incomprehensible. The seeds of an Archangels wisdom and transmissions are fully realized in the moment and yet extrapolating themselves exponentially over an unfolding time I can now pass along as if by a silvery chord and thread.

He wants nothing more than to slay demons, the forces of impurity, always. Creatively expressing himself, and using his incomprehensible vision to describe to us our past lives, the wounds and trials we faced; before bidding us to extract the trace, the karma, the demon … undoing us all with gestures and improvisations completely profound. Around the ritual fire, as we prepared the ad-lib ceremony space, Michael was playing with his electronic lightsaber. He had brought 5 items to the altar to consecrate, charge, and link the energy. The most interesting of which was of course the lightsaber. He brought a spaceship helmet as well. Who are we for even a second to question the same being who donned the robe of a crone, and so easily doled out fractal pieces of the Graal, as long as you were willing to accept a treat from a strange old crone that is …

A silver blade, and a golden blade, and a book of ceremonial initiation. The hum and vibration of these 3 particular ritual artifacts was somehow and inexplicably connected to the rhythm of the earth herself. A rhythm you could hear in Michael’s walk, and a rhythm he could teach you to feel simply by connecting you to the last ceremonial objects he brought with him. Not on the alter, the sixth and seventh objects were a Cherokee Community Drum, and an Ivory chestpiece. Completing a circuit of forgiveness between the trail of tears and the illuminated initiates who first came to develop our great and beautiful country. Michael’s particular manifestation in this part of time having the dual effect of healing the deep strife left on the land by the mistakes of the primitive men who nonetheless seeded and founded these great United States.

He lectured me on internalization of symbols, on making real, and bid me approach the Templar blades. He asked me to choose one and pick it up. I liked how pretty the silver blade was, so I took it up in my hand, unsheathed it, and performed some basic ritual movements, feeling its beauty. Then Michael asked me to pick up the golden sword. I was shocked to find that when I touched it, a vibration coursed through my forearm … and as I unsheathed the golden blade I understood the intention behind the lightsaber. I could almost hear the sound of an energetic phasing powering up when that charged blade was released from its scabbard into my hand. I looked at Michael and he addressed me sternly, “now tell me when you are going to stop waiting and step into the lead.  Someone must lead”.

Michael was getting ready to depart when I met him. And indeed, he has not decided still whether or not he will stay. But we certainly asked him to. To stay and fight with us, against the many faceted and many headed and many wiled demon which is the ultimate calamity against humankind. In fact he came to train us so that he could go on another adventure … to places and planes of existence barely contemplated against or looked for, or required for the magnum opus of humanity. Angels may have functions, but the broad scope of their dominion is still in many ways and in some sense far beyond the bridge nature of humanity.

It was after midnight, at the feasting and the drinking after drawing down the moon. He looked at me, I was already happily and perfectly drunk. “If you see a Class V demon on the street, what are you going to do?” He wanted to go demon slaying of course, right now, after dinner before the dessert was served. The champagne had lit a glorious passion in his eyes. He stood up to speak, but could not be heard over the din, and happily did not use his real voice to get our attention. Instead I struck the brass of the ritual chalice, which sent out the vibration and tone of the ritual energies themselves and silence fell about the room. I may not be slaying demons with Michael tonight, but at least I can open the ceremony for him!

“For know that it is better to fall on my blade and perish than to make the attempt with fear in thy heart! How will you enter the circle?” … it was only M and I who raised our glasses in a resounding and boisterous cry of “With Perfect Love and Perfect Trust!!”. And Michael had the ritual space he needed to slay demons. And as I took my favorite position to be in; quiet, sitting, imbibing alcohol and quietly pondering a job well done; the full realization settled in on me.

The Archangels are here among us.

~~~ the fire and the loneliness ~~~

so there’s this loneliness on my face
written for the world to see
but it comes from some distant place
you’d be surprised how it doesn’t touch me

passing through the slant of light
that fractures into self and self
like a gilded accent clear to sight
hiding open there up on the shelf

listed are my memories
written onto my brain
a cosmic riff of lifetimes
and a tapestry of pain
compelling subtle dancing
smiling and laughing
uniting every joy experience
abiding intellect grafting

so there’s this fire in my eyeballs
blazing forth to all I meet
but its just a fire burning
under some timeless soul seat

a deeper presence than I can claim
to know, control, or understand
sending me on missions
and ignoring all my well laid plans

allowed to feel the warrior
but just a soldier in a game
a construct for the inhabitant
a complex form cannot be tamed
screaming aloud and dying
in each moment I dissolve
aware only of the explosive tail
the streaking comet that evolves

and its always everywhere
the fire and the loneliness
my experience of the goodness
is the truth in all of us